To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.
Oscar Wilde
Are you satisfied with your life or just comfortable? Worse yet, what if you’re neither?
I’m going to be blunt. In today’s world, we are completely failing. We are failing to live fulfilling lives. Fulfilling lives where we thrive physically, mentally and emotionally. Everyone is trying to be happy all the time. But happiness is fleeting.
We are constantly running around doing things we think we should be doing. We make a million to-do lists, scroll aimlessly on social media, work too much, drink too much, eat too much, and never feel satisfied.
Stop rushing to get through your day, your week, your month, or even your year. (Who sang that out loud?) Sit in the present. I guarantee, whatever happiness you think might be somewhere else, anywhere else… isn’t there. It’s here and now.
Here are some tips for leading a more satisfying and fulfilling life.
Forget Perfection
Perfectionists are rarely satisfied or fulfilled. As a recovering perfectionist myself, I can speak from experience. Striving for perfection means always looking to do better. Instead of satisfaction with achievements, they’re thinking about how much better they could have done.
Perfectionists set impossibly high standards for themselves. As a result, they’re not happy even when achieving success. In their eyes, there’s always more that could have been accomplished. Many perfectionists are held back from ever achieving success in the first place, simply because of their anxiety over making mistakes (1). Having high standards is one thing, but perfectionism is actually a form of OCD.
Satisfaction comes from a job well done, not perfectly done. A fulfilling life comes from taking action. However, you need to be both reasonable and flexible in your standards. It’s easy to feel satisfied and fulfilled when you know you met your standards. Also, you can’t excel at everything. Not everything holds the same weight.
For example, I hope to excel as a friend, spouse and mother. I want to be a proficient nurse, writer and cook. However, I couldn’t care less about having a clean car or being a DIY kinda gal. You see, think about your roles, your hobbies, your passions, and put them into categories. Forget perfection in any of them, especially the things that don’t hold much weight for you.
Stop Living To Make Others Happy
I know so many people who are living out someone else’s dream. Right now, I want you to evaluate some things. Ask yourself: what lights you up, what gives you energy, what completely drains it, do you have a passion that aligns with a talent? Consider your beliefs, lifestyle and values.
Don’t compare yourself to anyone. It completely steals your sense of self. Your wants, your desires, your talents, your seasons of life are unique to you and only you. You can’t have a dream or a vision if you don’t know where you’re starting from.
Does what you’re doing most of the time mesh with who you want to be? You’ll never have a fulfilling life if you’re trying to please someone else. You will always come up short if you’re living a life someone else tells you to live.
I know it sounds dismissive of me to suggest you switch careers, move out of state or reconsider your romantic relationship. My hope is that you like the life you live, or you would have made changes already. On the other hand, if you marry someone your parents handpicked for you, or go into a career someone else imagines you would excel at, how could you possibly feel satisfied with your life?
Sometimes the place you are used to is not the place you belong.
WILLIAM WHEELER
Allow Yourself To Feel Joy
I’ve been writing this blog for a year and a half now, and my favorite part of the process is the writing. I’m not a businesswoman, in fact, I hate business. What I am though, is a caregiver, a motivator, a relentless cheerleader and a writer. These areas are my zone of genius. It’s where the work meets the woo. I may not be successful by societies standards, but I know what fills my passion cup.
In today’s society, it’s all about competition and the numbers. How much money are you making? Who has the most followers? Did your last Tik-Tok go viral? Are you winning at work? The idea is to enjoy the process that gets you there, as well as the success. The question should be, Are you winning at life?
Furthermore, it’s ok to feel joy, satisfaction and pride in your achievements. Pride can make so many people feel uncomfortable. I still struggle with it. If you believe that you should always be struggling, or that it’s wrong to feel proud, you’ll never lead a satisfying or fulfilling life.
Read my first blog post to see how far I’ve come: My Love for Holistic Health and Why I Started This Blog
Have A Life Story
You are never too young OR too old to record your life story. Without a doubt, your life story is the most interesting thing about you. If you want people to get to know you, tell them part of your story. I want you to realize if you died today without getting your story out into the world, that would be a serious tragedy. And when you start to recount memories, you begin to see how fulfilling life already is.
When you share your story, your experiences and your truths with others, you gain a different level of respect (2). Writing an autobiography is extremely vulnerable. You recount pain, joy, success, human effort and personal strengths. At the same time, you give meaning to your life. Most importantly, share your story with family and friends, especially your children.
Do you feel like you have no idea where to start? I totally get it. Staring at a blank page is difficult for most people. I love journaling. Sometimes just stream of consciousness (SOC) journaling will work for me. Other times, I need writing prompts which I get with Promptly Journals. Their journals are stunning, thought provoking and designed for many moments in life, good and bad. And guess what, they have an
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